Yes I know. I have a pair of scissors buried in my head (From... See sign description) and I'm feeling a bit woozy as well as losing some blood, but what did you want me to do? Ignore what it says! Sure, It's not the usual thing you would do but that's what's so amazing about it! This sign is a symbol for doing whatever the hell you want and not giving a damn about what anyone thinks! So after a short trip to the hospital (Needed scissors for an arts and crafts project) I got in touch with the man behind the sign Vince Desi CEO of Running With Scissors Inc. to ask him some questions.
Q: Before we begin I'd like to thank you for taking some time to speak to The Life Critic. How are you?
A: I’m fuckin great!. It’s Good Friday, Thank God
Q: So let's get into the thick of it... I'm sure you can take that a few different ways... Actually I apologize for the puns, guess that's what happens when we're inundated by the gay marriage shenanigans happening all over the country. Actually what's your take on this whole debate?
A: Long before Ron and Rand Paul I registered Libertarian. Since I’m straight I love gay guys cause it means more pussy for me. I only wish they could reproduce. All in all, I have no problem with anyone loving, being with, doing, another person, providing they are willing. That said, I would treat all unions the same legally, but the concept of marriage is rooted in procreation.
Q: I think those questions always make good ice breakers and to hell with being politically correct every second of the day! With that said. Lets take it back a bit to the earlier years of Vince Desi, so we're you born and raised in Tuscon AZ?
A: Brooklyn, NY. Relocated to Tucson cause the witness protection program in Phoenix was full. Just kidding.
Q: For a second there I thought I'd have to start referring to you as Henry Hill! It's Nice to see another East Coaster though, but I'm glad you got out of the city that never... lets you have guns or large sodas. I guess NYC's new fad is fascism?
A: I liked Adolf Bloomberg when he first ran, but after he literally bought and stole his third term I really think he belongs in prison. NYC is a my favorite toilet in the world.
Q: Getting a little more personal with this one. At what age did you lose your e-ginity and was there a special game that did it?
A: I banged my way into adulthood with PONG when I was in college.
Q: On a tangent here. Speaking of loss. What did you think the pope did for him to resign? I know Vatican City has got to be riddled with cover-ups!
A: I learned a long time ago not to speculate or be judgmental especially when you don’t have personal knowledge. As for my opinion I liked Pope Benedict, I like strong German leaders. I truly admire how he stepped aside. Can you imagine the garbage we have for leaders actually doing something for the benefit of the country first? That would take a miracle.
Q: Very good points. I'll be interested on your take of some more current events soon when my ADD kicks in again. In the meantime. I know you've done interviews before about your history in the industry but for those that still don't know too much about it could you tell us how Riedel Software Productions became RWS?
A: Great fuckin question cause so much has been written and reported incorrectly about how RWS was born. RSP was a work for hire developer best known for making edutainment titles for major Licensors like Disney, Sesame St, Hanna Barbera and many more. In 1996 we were getting very tired of making games we didn’t play and I decided it was time to take a shot at creating our own original intellectual property, and so POSTAL was born. We worked on the game for about 6 months then in the Spring of 1997 I announced that a new game developer RWS was about to change the game industry. RSP was always a separate company, it had over 30 people but it was only a handful of us that were part of the original RWS team. At the same time that RWS was working on POSTAL, RSP was working on “Free Willy” for EA and “Barbie” for James Cameron’s company Digital Effects. I always like the thought that from the depths of the Titanic to the shapely body of Barbie, RWS found its way to set the game industry on fire.
Q: When RWS started it's journey, when was the idea for Postal conceived and what ultimately lead to its creation?
A: The original working title was “The Postman Always Shoots Twice” but I hated it and my marketing instincts knew we needed a single word like DOOM and Madonna, so POSTAL it was and is, and I’ve never regretted it. Same with naming the company Running With Scissors, which is what all our moms told us not to do growing up, so it made perfect sense to me to call ourselves Running With Scissors. Creative frustration and desire for economic freedom were the natural motivators which directly lead to the decision to develop POSTAL. The game industry from an insider’s perspective had become so friggin boring, sterile, and much more like mainstream TV that I couldn’t see myself continuing. I knew that gamers, people, simply wanted and would love something real, something different, something that they could stand up and piss on while smiling at the same time.
Q: Staying on point with this for a minute. There is no such thing as bad publicity but was the delusional ramblings and rhetoric of asshole Joe Lieberman too much? Or was it just good entertainment for Vince Desi & Company?
A: Actually I disagree with that theory, just ask Romney or OJ. When I met Joe Lieberman the thing that hit me hardest was how he actually was a robot, talking with eyes closed, immune to reality, a classic study in blank thought. The idea that he could have become president is frightening except now even more scary than a night in the Bates Motel is that we have a clown named Biden who IS a heartbeat away, OMG. None of this is entertaining to me, I find it disgusting because it’s true.
Q: Great information. Hopefully this sets some records straight about RWS history for everyone. I also understand your fear of these political psychopaths that have seemingly crowned themselves kings and I don't think it's going to get much better any time soon. What do you think?
A: First I fear the stupidity of our society, our population at large, far more than I do the scum thieves in our government. Education is the key to success and freedom, surviving is no longer a challenge in today’s nanny state. While I don’t like the concept of term limits (I prefer to believe that smart citizens will make smart choices in the voting booth) it has become terribly clear that we must throw the garbage out, cut the cancer out, behead the monster that rules us. The reality that we have people in office for decades is obscene, and the power they abuse over us proves it. There really is very little difference between the so called Democrats and Republicans, sure on paper they present themselves to be different, but in reality they represent themselves, first foremost and in many cases only. My personal voting history ranges from McGovern to Romney with many more losses in between. Just think turn on the TV and throw up. Both parties suck horribly, and yes I think it will get worse, a lot worse.
Q: Since we are discussing the terrible state we find our country in, From one Second Amendment supporter to another how has this uphill battle been to protect your right to bear arms in your neck of the woods?
A: Tucson is the liberal city in the pseudo conservative state of Arizona. I’m all for the Bill of Rights, it really is what this country was founded upon with the great vision of our forefathers, but if you go to school today God only knows what they will teach you. Look I consider myself a very positive forward thinking person but I gotta tell you we are in a real fuckin mess. We have a president who thinks hes a king, a vice president who thinks the treasury is his checkbook, Sec of State whos a wealthy fraud of a soldier, a Congress wallowing in corruption, a Supreme Court in disarray, a Military without funding, and oh yeah a first lady who loves herself more than her husband loves himself. They make the Clintons look like missionaries. Please Bill before you let that old bag run please shoot a load of your feel the pain cream on her face. The thought of her being Madam President makes me want a real Madam for President, just think we need to expand government, a new Dept. of Extra Marital Affairs.
Q: Also this MAY lean a tad on the extreme end but do you see a second revolution needed to solve these current issues and to bring power back to the people?
A: More like a fuckin lobotomy! I got my scalpel ready, it’s a chainsaw. READY!!!
Q: Couldn't agree more! Now I'd like to change gears here and get into some gaming discussion. I know this might be something RWS wants to set straight as well, or maybe just to explain your frustration. So could you tell us and perhaps even educate fans and the like on the whole Postal III fiasco?
A: Thanks for the invitation to go down a shit slide. Really simple, some deals work, some don’t, PIII failed for many reasons. Worst of all we lost control of the project and that was the beginning of the shitfest. Historically we had a great relationship with Akella, our Russian publisher, and for the record the folks there were good people and I consider them my friends regardless of the fiasco PIII.
The original plan was for RWS to do game design and style art, with Akella responsible for production (coding, game art, audio, playtesting, etc.). The project started out great with both groups working close together then the first blow came with the Russian economy taking a hit and Akella lost their A development team and the project go moved to Team B. Looking back now we should have canceled the project then as there was no way the new less qualified team was going to be able to deliver a “A” quality game. The next big blow was when Akella started chopping away at our design (to accommodate the limited skills of the 2nd string team), this only got worse over time. From eliminating gameplay to single player only to PC only and scratching consoles. The hole kept getting deeper and the shit shovel was in full force. We didn’t even get to see or play the game in the last 12 months of development, then the worst thing happened. Akella was desperate for money trying to prevent going out of business. They made the fatal decision to ‘wrap it up’ at alpha and call it done, releasing it to the Russian market, then on Steam for the international market. This is really what upset me most cause it proved they had no respect for our fans or the brand.
Immediately my inbox was filling up with angry fans and buyers, complaints ranged from my CD won’t run to my game crashes constantly. At that point we decided to not associate ourselves with the product, and it is now widely recognized as the Russian Postal game. I would like to take a moment here to thank our loyal fans who recognized that we too like them got fucked by the premature release of a software product that was presented to be a game. I felt really bad for our Russian fans who got totally hosed by a sham of a product. To make matters worse Akella has NEVER supported it, not has any intentions to do so, and I recently heard they are just about out of business. I’m just surprised how it is still available on Steam, ridiculous.
Again, it is a testimony to POSTAL fans around the world who have shown their loyal support beyond all odds and hurdles that allows us to keep on going. THANKS Postal Dudes and Postal Babes.
Q: With that said I'm just going to come out and say this. If the Russian meteor hit Akella would that have been justifiable payback?
A: I prefer it to hit Washington D.C. cause that’s the toilet of professional shitters. Russia is a great country and the folks at Akella meant well. I always believed its important to recognize intention not just performance.
Q: Has this experience changed RWS either positively or negatively or do you just chalk the whole thing up as a learning experience?
A: One dump should never define a person, or company, even if it’s the biggest turd of your life. RWS like the Postal Dude will not be stopped.
Q: Expertly put! This actually educated me as well on Postal III. I am sorry however about the shit slide you had to take, so beers are on me. Lets get back to something tasteful. So would you ever consider doing HD remakes of either Postal, Postal II or both?
A: LOL cause this has been an inhouse topic from way back when. I feel like I’m choking on my own balls. My turn to ask a question…”What do you think if I told you we are making a HD version of Postal and it will run on console?”
The Life Critic: To answer your question. I thinks that's great news! Postal would get great exposure, new fans, and look pretty doing it.
Q: Since we're discussing games, do you currently have a favorite at the moment that you enjoy playing and are you excited for anything coming out this year?
A: My favorite game is Life. At the moment I’m enjoying the revival of POSTAL on STEAM. Personally I mostly play casual games. Its like when I was a kid and I worked in a pizzeria, I ate pizza till I was sick then I didn’t eat pizza for awhile, same thing happens with everything in life, just another example of how Life is really the ultimate game.
Q: By the way while I was doing some research I found an Interview in which you said you were developing a few mobile games. How have these projects been coming along?
A: I scratched the last one about 9 months ago, it was a classic side scroller that was somewhat Postalesque in nature but bottom line was it wasn’t turning out the way we planned. This happens a lot in game development, probably in all areas of creative development, TV, film, books, just most the time the Director or Author or Musician either isnt honest with themselves or the money people demand you finish it cause no matter what the toilet will get flushed and in their sick evil selfish mind its better to flush shit than nothing. Me, I disagree; I’d rather waste the precious commodity of water by itself than waste good water on some bad shit.
Q: This is the grand finale. So is RWS working on anything special? Like another entry into the Postal series? Or perhaps something totally new and different? If that's the case would RWS ever consider a Kickstarter campaign?
A: Its pretty fuckin pathetic how in the early days people ignored us like we had AIDS, now after all the GTA’s and Paynes, Manhunts, and endless Soldier sagas, new fans are coming aboard the Postal Bus. We have several projects on the table, from another D list celebrity who wants us to help his career comeback to new mods, a comic, a novel, a new film, and so on. I just wish someone would call or email and send some hot babes over, it really is the one downside of our industry, not enough cock worthy women who just want to suck dick. I’m pretty sure that we will decide on where to drive our energy in the near future. Personally my goal is to develop an all new Postal product. Then, after re-crucifying ourselves and securing a permanent place in game hell, I would like to go all new. We’ve had several great ideas, but reality always creeps back in and we have to deal with what we have, not what we pretend we have.
Q: With all of that said. Vince Desi. I'd like to thank you again for taking the time to do speak with The Life Critic. I thoroughly enjoyed the interview and as a proper host I'd like to give you the final word. Is there anything you'd like to say in closing?
A: Play games for fun, go peacefully among the masses and spread joy, share and love, and cum every day.